Dark chocolate....2008

The sun had just set behind the southern shutters, casting an orange glow across the hardwood floors... night slowly set in filling our lungs with the smell of star jasmine and honeysuckle. Our bodies entwined, we bathed in that brief moment... in spite of the perfect day outside, we had spent the whole day relearning each and every solitary inch of one another's body as if it were the first time we touched. Fifteen years had passed since we were this close, fifteen years of silent yearning. We had both gone our separate ways, yet when we saw each other this time, it was as if we had never said goodbye. A clandestine lunch date, a picnic under the palms, and there it was... the dark chocolate, wrapped in gold foil... it's subtle sweetness kissing my lips, and bursting in my mouth like a cool summer grape... Our picnic was full of polite conversation, neither of us daring to look each other straight in the eye... for we knew what would follow, and were so stupidly indecisive about what to do. We both knew what we wanted, why else would we be there? Why torture each other with just sitting across from each other when we could be between the sheets... As I drove to the park, my hands trembled... just the thought of him once again stirred something deep inside. The feeling that in spite of the time, in spite of falling in love with another... the feeling that never went away, like my first high... the taste of him on my lips, the smell of him in my clothes was intoxicating, and his touch burned me to my core. Did he feel this too? He had to , otherwise he would not have come.... even when I thought I could tell him goodbye, there we were again at the beach. It was at that moment when he laced his fingers through mine as we drove through the park... connected once again. Then it was the kiss, the one that shouldn't have been but was. The feel of his breath on my neck, his hand on my breast, and the weight of him suffocating the facade of restraint. He couldn't deny the need, neither could I...it was pressing deep in my hip and it sent shivers up and down my spine. His teeth nipping at my ear, his hands imprisoning mine...no need to, I was his, I was always his. No matter where we were we could feel it, the draw, the need that only we two could quench. Now... so far apart, the memory of that late afternoon in spring lingers in my dreams; replaying, and remembering once again how it felt to be totally consumed.

Sunburns and Tequila.... 1993...

I had spent the whole afternoon in Scott's pool... feigning interest in scuba diving, and trying desperately to hook him up with my college buddy Tammy... they would be perfect together.... he certainly wasn't perfect for me. Sweet, but geeky and although he was older, I had more sexual experience in my pinkie that he had in his whole lifetime. By the end of the afternoon I was sunburned, tired of fending off his advances and redirecting them to poor Tammy. She thought he hung the moon. I then suggested a girls night out at the Yucatan, a local beach hotspot in Tampa, pretty much telling Scott that he should go with Tammy. Bait, but no bite. Tammy and I went anyway. It was 4th of July weekend and the club was filled with the usual crowd of beered up beach bums, the 'Polo Crowd' (all the ex-preppies from high school that still thought they were hot, but not), and in the corner were the pale tourists from New England... well, their legs were pale, and there faces were red. I made my rounds; dancing with Tammy, then to the bar to see Michael my pet Irish bartender who I would have given anything to bed; then back to the dance floor. Two shots of tequila and a Margarita later I saw him, sitting in a dark corner... not quite one of the locals. I felt drawn to him like nothing I have ever felt before. My hands shook and my body just gravitated towards him. Nothing to say... my mouth was dry, but I was damp... we smiled at each other and polite conversation ensued. Then without a word we were on the dance floor, and it was nothing in the world but us. Without touching me, he made my body hum...our eyes locked and he penetrated my soul. I had never felt anything like this and it terrified me... I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm; that was it. I turned to face his pout and without hesitation I took that bottom lip in my teeth, letting him know that he was mine. He knew it, and his hands found my ass and pulled me close to him, hard and ready. The dance floor was our bed... in our minds we were one. To the casual observer we were just entwined in a slow and passionate dance. Arielle, a friend of mine, pulled along side and began to weave herself into our little illusion... she was unable to sever our lock. Taking my hand, he pulled me off of the dance floor and out into the warm night air, full of the sounds of the water lapping against the sea wall. Moments later we were speeding down the Courtney Campbell Causeway to the unknown. Then, there was bliss. The feeling of just skin to skin on cool white sheets, his hands all over me, and him deep inside......

1993.... Incense and pulsating lights....

Cerulean blue....
beyond them something more.
Hands that have not touched,
cautious.
The faint scent that lingers
behind your stride,
and the promise of mischief
in your smile...
so very tempting,
to want to cure that aching
and unspoken need.

It was his eyes.... no, his ass in those jeans... I watched him dance with Arielle, his hands not touching her, but his eyes, his eyes were making love to her. The music pulsed around us, the bass, you could feel it in your core and you could feel the thump all over. Arielle thought nothing of his gestures.... the thrusting hips, the head sway, and the pout. That man could pout, and the only thing you could think of then was pulling him in and just taking that bottom lip between your teeth and tasting him... he was just so, delicious. He tasted like dark rum and chocolate...

Part one....

Passion unfaltering.
God how I miss those curls,
those eyes,
and that smile. I don't know why.
It frightens me, this forbidden
fantasy that is hidden in the darkest part
of my heart.
The part that remembers how wild one can be,
remembers what it feels like to dance amidst
incense, and to sway and curl my curves in their
glistening skin.
The part that feels like she can take on the universe,
and you....
that clandestine thought
that lingers along with your faint scent.
A thought to take out and embrace....

Chloe could hear the rain begin to fall outside as she turned the key to her apartment, how appropriate, she thought. It was already getting dark outside, and her place was dimly lit by the light over her kitchen stove; Chloe entered her place just as she would any other day, plopping her keys on the desk beside the door and started to undress as she headed towards her bedroom. She was oblivious to the fact that JD was there; she was such a creature of habit. Off came her uniform top and bra, and then it hit her, he was there. Shit, she thought to herself. Why deny the inevitable? As she finished undressing, getting as comfortable as can be in her pink flannel pants and UW sweatshirt, she turned to find JD standing in the doorway just staring at her. "I've forgotten what I let go." he whispered hoarsely. His eyes undressing her once again. Chloe, swearing under her breath turned to face him.
"Why are you here? Really? In town on business, needed a little something extra? Knew you could depend on me? Forget it! You can enjoy the show, you just can't be a part of it." Chloe was back to being totally angry that he was there. JD just stood there, stunned. She had never fought back, never. She had never stood up for herself when they were together. Part of it was she was so afraid she was going to lose him she didn't want to rock the boat, the other part, she just didn't now how. Thirteen weeks in OCS taught her otherwise, and being on her own taught her a whole lot. Yet deep inside, this heat, this passion, this inexplicable need welled up inside her. Part of it made her want to just throw up, the other part, to throw him on the bed and ride him like the Kentucky Derby. No, she was going to make him work for this, she was going to make him realize what he really let go. Would she take him back? In a heartbeat, but on her terms. Strictly her terms. Would he agree? If he were the still the same JD, no, he still wanted the freedom, but he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Bastard, she thought.
"I deserved that." he said, and moved closer, sitting on the edge of her bed taking her hand, which was now trembling.” Where’s the ring? You don't wear it anymore?" he was referring to the Claddagh he gave her for her birthday, inside the heart center was a 1 carat diamond. "I still have it, do you want it?" Chloe's voice was ice cold and shaky. She tried to turn from him and pull her hand away, he held tight and pulled her into him still standing. He rested his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat, and it was racing as he held her closely. Chloe couldn't move. God he smelled so good, she thought, inhaling deeply, trying to breathe. JD looked up at her with those huge dark eyes, that was the end of it. She leaned down and kissed him deeply. He loosened his grip on her hand and she took his face and cupped it with her hands.

"Why?" Chloe asked, tears streaming down her face. "Why now?"

"I don't know, but I know that I still want you, and I still love you. You just can't erase that." he reached up and pulled her on top of him, kissing her hard, deeply, and with enough passion she shuddered. Her hands found the buttons of his jeans, button fly as always, she thought, grinning to herself. He pulled her sweatshirt up and off with a low growl. Together, half-naked, and entwined on her bed, Chloe and JD kissed for what seemed an eternity, hands were everywhere, touching, grabbing, searching for that gasp spot.
Chloe stopped suddenly, got up, and left JD on the bed, hard, hot, and staring at her in disbelief. She put her sweatshirt back on and left the room, heading to the living room, turning on her stereo and inserting a disc. Swiftly she closed her miniblinds, took the phone off the hook, and headed back into her bedroom. He was gone; all that remained was the rumpled duvet cover. Behind her bathroom door she could hear the shower, she opened her bathroom door to find him in her shower, the heat just beginning to rise and steam the mirrors. Clothes and all she opened the door of the shower stall and got in with him, pinning him up against the wall, kissing him long and hard. She could feel him trembling as well. He turned on her and slammed her up against the wall, biting her bottom lip, and then kissing her neck, all the way down to the gentle curve of her breast. He pulled the wet sweatshirt up and over her head, exposing her, taking her nipple in his mouth. Chloe thought she was going to melt beneath him. She pulled the drawstring on her pants loose, and they dropped to the shower floor. They were both naked, prisoners of their own want. He kissed the curve of her breast, back up to her neck again, and forced her mouth open with his hot, sweet, tongue. She bit his bottom lip in response, then took her hand and pushed the shower off, and pulled him through the door and out into her bedroom, both soaking wet, but neither of them cared. Falling onto her antique lounge, he plunged into her.... deeply. She gasped. It had been way too long that she had been close with anyone... She dug her nails into his back as she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer and deeper inside her. This was more intense than anything she had ever felt, maybe because it was so wrong, maybe because she knew it wasn't going to last forever, maybe because this was because this was the most incredible sex she's had.